Improv [Writing] Tip #4: Who, What, Where, How?

(#4 in a series of tips from my improv class that struck me as applying to writing.)

Improv [Writing] Tip #4: Who, What, Where, How?
Define instantly relationship, action, place, and how you feel.

Before you all jump on me, in improv, the “when” is given—it’s always now. So in writing, of course, we’d have to cover that, too.

This tip in improv is about establishing as quickly as possible what readers need to know to understand what’s going on.

Wrong
Me and Malcolm on stage. Malcolm looks up at the sky.
Me: It sure is up there.
Malcolm: Yep.
Me: Wonder what it’s doing?
Malcolm: Could be anything.
Me: Don’t you know?
Malcolm: Nope.

This mistake can happen with newbies to improv when it looks like one partner has an idea, and the other one politely doesn’t get in the way by establishing anything else. Meanwhile, the audience is (as my daughter used to say) confuzzled. And bored.

Better
Me and Malcolm on stage. Malcolm looks up at the sky.
Me: So there goes your girlfriend on that flight to Rio.
Malcolm: Yeah, sis, thanks for chasing her off.
Me: I don’t think it was me. Have you looked in the mirror lately?
Malcolm: Hey, she liked the beard.
Me: When it was still a beard, it was fine. Now that birds are swinging by for nesting material, not so much.
Malcolm (swatting away birds): You’re just jealous they don’t like your dreads.

Maybe not the most brilliant comedy, but we did quickly establish:

• Who: Brother and sister
• What: Arguing about girlfriend (and hair)
• Where: Outside
• How (you feel): Sibling rivalry

It’s the same for writing. The challenge is to establish 1) the whos, 2) what the whos are doing, 3) where and when they’re doing it, 4) and how they feel about doing it, as quickly as possible for every scene. Readers don’t want to have to wonder where they are or what the point is.

This perhaps accounts for the advice I see everywhere for opening pages. Don’t, it is written sagely, start with a leisurely description of the weather. Even if it’s the world’s first truly elegant description of a perfect spring day, the reader won’t care until they know 1) who is experiencing this weather, and 2) why it is important.

In these opening lines of well-known novels, how many of the “who, what, where, when, how they feel” questions are answered?

Harriet was trying to explain to Sport how to play Town.
Harriet the Spy, Louise Fitzhugh

When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.
The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien

When Mary Lennox was sent to Misselthwaite Manor to live with her uncle everybody said she was the most disagreeable-looking child ever seen.
The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett

When he was nearly thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow. When it healed, and Jem’s fears of never being able to play football were assuaged, he was seldom self-conscious about his injury. His left arm was somewhat shorter than his right; when he stood or walked, the back of his hand was at right angles to his body, his thumb parallel to his thigh. He couldn’t have cared less, so long as he could pass and punt.
When enough years had gone by to enable us to look back on them, we sometimes discussed the events leading to his accident. I maintain that the Ewells started it all, but Jem, who was four years my senior, said it started long before that. He said it began the summer Dill came to us, when Dill first gave us the idea of making Boo Radley come out.
To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee

Bam, bam, bam. In each one, we know what’s going on instantly. We know the major players, the point-of-view, the situation at hand, the general tone, and are beautifully set up for having the details further explained to us as the story unfolds. (And you’ll notice nary a word about the weather.)

Check out these 100 opening lines from novels. Some do this, some don’t, but it’s an interesting look nonetheless. Here’s another pile of them.

What we’re not necessarily told in any of them is “why.” That then becomes the question that makes us keep reading. There are no annoying unanswered basic questions, except for the one that makes us turn the page—”What happens next?”

Tagged as: Improv, Opening Lines, Writing How-To